Crimes of Fashion

WARNING:
What follows is probably one of the most superficial and unimportant writings I've ever produced. The following statements are merely my opinions and observations; they are not meant to offend but simply to entertain.
Thank you, Management

I look at the world like it is a story I'm in the process of writing. Each person I pass or come into contact with is a character, and the clothes they wear are their costumes. Most of their costumes are appropriate and fit into the storyline, but a few catch my curiousity and make me wonder just what these characters were thinking when they made their way to wardrobe that day. Here are a few observations I've made or thoughts I've had recently.
I've seen the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly.
Enjoy.
Shorts can be too short--for both girls and guys.
Aviators should not be worn universally; not all faces can handle them.
Say what you will, naysayers, but a confidently-worn pink shirt on a guy will usually get a thumbs-up from me.
Pajamas are not to be worn in public. The farthest they should stray from your bedroom is possibly the late night drive-thru window at Taco Bell after you've picked up a load of people at the bar.
Not every girl is built to wear skinny jeans.
When you think you can "get away with it" (last night's hair, makeup, etc.), you probably can't.
Chuck Taylors are so cool.
No one believes your beach-worthy tan is natural in January.
I am wary of any male who uses more products in his hair than I do.
There is definitely such a thing as too much makeup. There is also such a thing as too little.
A guy usually can't go wrong in a classic button-down, but I always prefer them tucked in.
If you're going to color your hair, do it regularly.
I love a good pair of cowboy boots with jeans, but I just can't seem to get on board with the cowboy boots/dress combo.
Facial hair is case-sensitive and unique to each individual. Grow it at your own risk. (I really feel the same way about long hair on guys.)
I am huge fan of the vintage/thrift store movement. I do, however, feel that it's possible to get a little carried away...
If you wear a dark suit, wear dark socks. Why is this so difficult?
Uggs... ugh.
Baseball caps usually give guys a sort of innocence that is refreshing.
I am embarrassed for people I see wearing denim-on-denim (affectionately referred to as the "Mexican tuxedo").
I will forever be envious of those girls who so easily mastered the art of the "messy ponytail," a style that continues to allude me.
Cargo pants/shorts are never appropriate. The same goes for "carpenter" anything.
Too much jewelry can ruin an outfit.
Obnoxiously bathing in cologne is offensive to all of my senses.
As a general rule, I believe girls should avoid wearing hats. The occasional baseball cap to class I understand, but beyond that I don't really support it. Fedoras, cowboy hats, newsboys, toboggans, etc.,... no, ma'am.
I love when guys wear glasses.
Crocs are the bane of my existence. If you do not work in the healthcare profession, you have no excuse subjecting your feet to such humiliation.
Whoever invented the short-sleeved dress shirt should be imprisoned or stoned or maimed... or at least made to explain himself.
If you are over the age of 7, you should not even look twice at the table of graphic tees. No matter what.
A t-shirt, hoodie, and jeans will forever be the uniform of the college co-ed (graduate students included...).
Finally, leggings are not pants.
So, there you have it. Today's installment of life according to, well, me.
I read my monthly issue of InStyle, but I am by no means a fashionista. In fact, I have committed a number of the aforementioned fashion "no-no's" myself. I am consantly amused, however, as I walk around campus and various articles of clothing pique my interest, and you know how I love to share all of life's little amusements with you. I can't help but wonder what I'll see tomorrow that raises my brow in curiousity and elicits a quiet chuckle from my lips...