Welcome to the Jungle

On Tuesday, I went to Wal-Mart. As some of you may know, Wal-Mart is a place that I loathe; the very sight of it escalates my blood pressure, and going inside puts me on edge within seconds. For that reason, I don't go very often, so, when I do, my list (er... scroll) is so long that I am there for hours, thus heightening my hatred for the place.
It's a vicous circle.
So, like I said I went Tuesday. I am well aware that it is now Friday, but it has taken me this long to digest and come to terms with the horrors that I saw and heard. If you're a frequenter (is that a word?) of Wal-Mart, you know that the irritation of the whole experience often starts before you even make it into the store. It is always a nightmare to find a parking space, and I almost always end up parking in outer Mongolia because the neverending circles are making me dizzy. It also seems that, every time I visit our Wal-Mart, the parking lot is where I see every destitute and down-on-his-luck individual in the tri-county area. I try to make my way into the store as quickly as possible, for the parking lot of Wal-Mart is a rather depressing place.
After making it inside, I had to stop off at the pharmacy, which is a miniature jungle inside the monstrosity. Obviously, due to the nature of the beast, many of the people in the pharmacy are at their very worst. They're sick; they're tired; they're taking care of a sick child or parent; they're unshowered; they're wearing their pajamas; they've been waiting far longer than the initial promise time; they're miserable. There are always kids screaming at the tops of their lungs, parents glaring at anything and everything that crosses their paths, and, of course, the oh-so-unhelpful people behind the counter. (It has always been my belief that they put the most unhelpful "associates" behind the counter in the pharmacy. Why is this?)
And then you have me - just picking up a routine, everyday, run-of-the-mill prescription. The people waiting hate me because I don't look sick, and the people working there ignore me because I'm not sneezing in their faces. On Tuesday, however, there was also a woman who spoke no English and a child who looked like he might throw up on my feet at any minute. Add all this together, and you might be able to imagine what it was like.
So, after thankfully exiting the pharmacy area, I proceeded to do the rest of my shopping, which included numerous items on both the "Wal-Mart" side as well as the grocery side. As I made my way around the store, I kept encountering these armies of unattended children. Seriously, there were gangs of them without a parent in sight. These were young children, and they always seemed to be blocking the aisles or throwing things from shelves or chasing each other around corners. Where were their parents? Probably saw their out and made their escape, along with my sanity.
The rest of the trip went on about like this, with the whole thing culminating at the check out, which is always an adventure. Of course, as per usual, I got in the line that required a price check or something in front of me, but it was too late to turn back, for I had already unloaded all the contents of my buggy. How typical.
Thinking I was in the home stretch, I practically sprinted toward my car. I did not get far, however, before I was accosted by the lady with the yellow hiliter sitting by the door. After finally breaking away from her, my car in sight, I began to pick up speed. Apparently, I got a little (a lot) overzealous, for two of my bags fell off the top of the heap, scattering their contents all over the asphalt. The perfect summation to a perfectly hellacious trip.
Actually, I'm getting steamed up just thinking back over it.
Those of you who are able to frequent Target or any other such establishment should count your lucky stars, for I would not wish the abysmal plight of shopping at Wal-Mart on my worst enemy.
Oh, and PS: I decided to go with watch #2 (see post below), and it should be here in 4-8 business days! Happy school year and happy 4.0 to me! (Sorry for the shameless plug... I just couldn't help it!)