I need help.
I am out of control, and I don't know how to stop.
Those of you who have known me a long time, or have even regularly read this blog for awhile, know my struggle with weight--a battle with my scale that has been raging for as long as I can remember.
You've heard me say I was out of control before, and you've heard me say I had to make a change.
This time, though, something's different.
I'm scared.
I'm the heaviest I've ever been, and I'm scared.
I'm scared of this place I'm in. I'm scared of the disappointment that lies in my closet. I'm scared of what I'm doing to my body and my health. I'm scared I don't have the srength to overcome this. I'm scared of the future if I don't.
I make jokes, self-deprecate, play if off, and change the subject--all to deflect and distract from the scary reality of how I really feel. An act that's not fooling anyone, really--least of all me.
I need God's help to make it through every tempation-filled day, for every moment I've known success in this life has been with Him by my side.
I'm asking for your help in the form of thoughts and prayers. Prayers for strength, resolve, commitment, and success against this demon I've been fighting most of my life. Your thoughts and prayers would mean more to me than I could possibly convey.
Thanks for being there, thanks for listening.
Thanks for everything, always.
All my love,
5 comments:
oh Spring, you just broke my heart. I'm praying some serious, strong prayers for you right now. I mean it, I really am. your words immediately put me on my knees.
many, many thoughts & prayers for you... and a few xoxoxo's as well
you know i'm there! saying my prayers for ya. love you!
Lauren-I have so much faith in you I can't even express how much I BELIEVE in you. If you really want to make a change, I know you can. In the mean time, I will keep you in my constant thoughts and prayers always. And just think, it could be worse. You could be waking up every morning to the scariest trainer in the world-Jillian Michaels. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that would be the last straw for me.
You are in my thoughts and prayers, Lauren.
Love you,
Patsy Burks
Post a Comment