The Power of Prayer

Dear Friends,
"Jesus answered them, 'Do you now believe? Indeed the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.'"--John 16:31-33
Exactly one year ago, my mom underwent surgery for a total knee replacement.  The surgery was incredibly successful, but she had a small snag the night of her surgery that put her into the ICU for a day.  After that big scare (which ended up being rather easily treated, thankfully), her recuperation and physical therapy was grueling and physically difficult, but she attacked every day with amazing strength--physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
I was with her throughout the process last year and, in fact, slept on the couch in the same room with my mom for ten weeks.  We went through the whole process together; each mountain was climbed together, each victory celebrated together.
Shortly after the physical therapy ended last summer, we began to talk of the surgery for her other total knee replacement.  Tomorrow morning--exactly one year later--she will enter the hospital for that surgery, and we will start the entire process all over again. 
As I write this to you tonight, I am a mix of emotions.
I am ready to get this process started and get this show on the road.  We have been gearing up for this for months, finalizing little details for weeks, and scribbling on post-its for last minute reminders for the last few days.  I am geared up, and I feel prepared, and I'm ready to get this ball rolling.
I am excited for the opportunities that could come into her life with this surgery.  I want her to be physically strong and whole again.  Every day over the past year, I've witnessed how much she's improved, but I've also seen how much she needs this other replacement.  I don't want any setbacks or hiccups to hinder or stall her recovery.  
I am confident in her whole medical team--surgeon and assisting doctors, nurses, physical therapists, and everyone in between.  I believe they are well-trained and capable, and they will bring the best care to her they have the power to provide.
I am hugely scared of history repeating itself and us hitting a snag again.  It's kind of a double-edged sword:  everytime I see her in pain, it hurts me, but it also reminds me of last year's bad memories, and both cut straight to my heart.  I've been pushing these scary thoughts away for twelve months--hiding them behind music, movies, books, schoolwork, and moments of laughter--but they've always been lurking just below the surface, and I can't push them away anymore.  The closer we've come to the surgery, I've had frequent insomnia, I occasionally wake up drenched in sweat, and sometimes I have terrifying nightmares.  I don't have doubts about the surgery and the process, I am just scared.  I had the normal fears that accompany any surgery last year; this time my memories are haunting me. 
Up until about a week ago, I was really scared all the time, and I wasn't sure how I was going to survive this final week.  I thought about it constantly, and I was terrified of the things that were constantly running through my head.  I started praying about it all the time and, when I would get particularly frightened, go through the words of hymns in my head.  Some of my favorite go-to's were/are The Old Rugged Cross, A Mighty Fortress is Our God, His Eye is on the Sparrow, Great is Thy Faithfulness, and, when all else fails, The Lord's Prayer.  Here are a few of my favorite lines from A Mighty Fortress, my favorite hymn:
"And though this world, with devils filled,
Should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed,
His truth to triumph through us."
Earlier this week, though, a sort of peace came over me that I know came from Him. I have been able to sleep well, and I've been able to put the thoughts that scare me most out of my head, for the most part at least. My mom and I have laughed and talked of things beside the surgery; we have both been able to have a happy week. My prayers have been answered, and I have been reminded, for about the zillionth time, how great God truly is.
"I will say of the Lord 'He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.'"--Psalm 92:2
I am, of course, still scared as we sit just hours in front of my mom's surgery, but I am leaning heavily on Him.  I know that His will will be done, and I know that I cannot possibly control or handle this situation on my own; I can't really do much of anything without His help, actually.
"Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?"--Psalm 56:3-4
I ask, of course, for your prayers and thoughts for my mom and I throughout this process--especially tomorrow and through this week we'll stay at the hospital.  It's just my mom and I, so everything she goes through is something I go through, as well.  I know she's anxious for things to go smoothly, as well, so your prayers to calm her nerves (and mine!) would certainly be appreciated.  Y'all constantly blow me away with your love, support, patience, understanding, and listening ears, and I am honored to count you all as my friends.  Your prayers and thoughts mean the world to me.
"For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone."--Psalm 91:11-12
As I close this out and get ready for bed, my hands are shaking, and I know I am on edge.  My mom cried as I told her goodnight, and I know we will both be changed people in a few days when some of this weight has been lifted.  I pray the Lord will calm her nerves to ready her for surgery and clear her head so she can rest tonight
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."--Philippians 4:6-7
Last year it was about a month post-operation before I was able to post again, so I don't know when we'll meet again. I love you all, and I thank you so much for what you mean in my life. I'll see you when I see you--
All my love,