Dazed and Confused

Ok, so I don't really get Halloween anymore.
I understood Halloween when it was like this:

And I understood Halloween when it was like this:

I still understood it when it was like this, too:

But somewhere between this:

and this:

I got lost.  Baffled.  Confounded.  Muddled.  Perplexed.  Puzzled.  I just don't get it.
When did Halloween become so inappropriate?  So tasteless?  So... slutty?

When did the goal of Halloween become to show as much skin as humanly possible without being naked?  What happened to good old-fashioned creativity and a little homegrown ingenuity? 

I haven't dressed up for Halloween since college, and, being that I was never a big Halloween fanatic anyway, I haven't really missed donning a thrown-together costume and swilling down hunch-punch at some equally thrown-together house party.  Call me old-fashioned (or just old, if you like), but I've moved on.  (Let's be quite honest, the part of Halloween that gets me is this:)

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I just don't understand.  In all honesty, I just don't get it.
I mean, honestly, do nurses really dress like this:

Does a police officer go out in her cruiser dressed like this:

I work in a school.  How often do I see anyone dressed like this:

And, seriously, could Pochahontas have canoed all over creation (not to mention painted with all the colors of the wind) wearing only this:

It baffles me.
And not to mention the message it's sending to younger kids, who want to look grown up and dress like they see older people dressing.  (My job now creeps into every facet of my life... it's a knee-jerk reaction I have no control over.)

What's so wrong with dressing like this:

Or even this:

I know, I know... I'm 100 years old.  I can't help it.  It'd be fine with me if everyone created their Halloween costumes from objects lying around their houses--creating masterpieces out of cardboard boxes and pipe-cleaners, but I know (sadly) that's not the way of the world these days.

On a happier note, I'm so excited to see the Bulldogs play today!  I can't wait to see them take on Kentucky tonight, and I cannot believe how pumped up everyone is.  I'll leave you with this video someone put together in preparation for the game tonight.  Go Dogs!!



Happy Halloween!  (I'm not really sour, you know, just an old soul.)