Said No One Ever

So, I am constantly getting a kick out this new trend of saying "...said no one ever" after, well, anything and everything.  I have to be honest... sometimes I laugh out loud at these witty quips.  So, for this week's Pins of the Week (pay no attention to the fact that I haven't observed this weekly pasttime in months), I picked a few of my recent faves to share with y'all.

Happy Tuesday, friends!

Weekend Update

This was such a good weekend!  Gorgeous weather, good friend, a little culture, a good movie and a lot of laughs.  Who could ask for much more?
I spent Friday night vegging out on my TV watching old episodes of Saturday Night Live and laughing my head off.  A little bit of her:

and a little bit of them:

and, well, a little more of her:

paired with a little bit of this:

made for a fun night, capped off by my favorite man in late night, of course.

Saturday I slept late then headed downtown for a delicious lunch al fresco (duck confit flatbread at The Majestic... I die) before going to see Memphis.  Memphis was out-of-this-world awesome; I just couldn't stop grinning like a fool when it was over!  One of my favorite things about moving to Olive Branch has been being so close to the Orpheum and getting to see so many great shows and concerts already.  If you're anywhere near Memphis and can possibly get to the Orpheum over the next week, do yourself a favor, score some tickets and go see this show.  It will knock your socks off.  Fact.

After doing a little schoolwork this afternoon, I went to see this much-hyped flick:

...and I loved it! 
To give you a little background, I've been a big Footloose fan for a pretty long while, so I knew this new movie was going to have a hard time winning me over.  I loved the movie as a teenager and was even in our senior production of the play in high school.  (Don't judge... it was awesome.)  Anyway, all that to say, I was pretty set in my Footloose ways.  This new one, however, did win me over.  Mostly due to this guy:

(Let's be honest, Kevin Bacon was never much of a looker.)
I also loved this guy, though:

And the re-worked songs were awesome.  What am I forgetting?  Oh, yeah.  The dancing, which was too legit.  Duh.

Go see it.  Whether you're already sold on it or you're a reluctant convert like myself, I know you'll love it.
Why can't the weekends last forever?? 

Fun in a Clothes Basket

So, over the weekend, my mom asked me to help her clean out her old closet.  Two summers ago, we added a new bedroom onto our house, and my mom moved into that room.  She moved most of her clothes into the new closet, but there were some left that still needed to be moved to the new room or given away to the Salvation Army. 
I must admit, I wasn't particularly psyched to help with this project (since it mostly involved me hauling the clothes out of the closet, down the stairs, and into the new closet or the car).  I suppose I was to be the muscle of this operation, which means, in short, we were behind before we even started.
Anyway...
In the course of the cleaning out, I did get a few laughs from some of the clothes we came upon, and I just had to try on (and take a picture, of course!) some of the most hideous.  I would love nothing better than to share these disasters with you now.
(Note:  My mother's wardrobe is not terrible.  Please don't hold these singularly heinous pieces against her, as she usually dresses just fine.  We've all bought and worn things we later regret, right?  And,if we're lucky, they end up on the internet somewhere.  I just didn't want my mother to miss out on that experience.)
The first ensemble I discovered is this greenish monstrosity, complete with Chicago Bears linebacker-worthy shoulder pads and grossly tapered knit pants.  Yuck.  This little beauty of an outfit actually still had the receipt in the pocket of the jacket, and we were horrified/relieved to discover it was bought in October of 1990(!!).

Althought this next item is not so much an outfit and more of a terrible excuse for sleep/loungewear, I just had to feature it, as well.  Housecoats, if you ask me, are never a good idea.  I think the picture speaks for itself, yes?

My mother wore this black-and-blue pair in Disney World in 1995.  Even though I've seen it in pictures, seeing it in person was a little unsettling, I must admit.  And, yes, if you think you're seeing black-and-blue checks on those pants, you're correct.  You're eyes are not, in fact, playing tricks on you; it's just that bad.

This next piece is just sad.  This vest is not some leftover article from a costume or a cute little joke.  It's a flowered denim vest that my mother loved.  I had to get it out of the house quickly, honestly, in fear that she would paw through the bags and stash it in the back of her closet.

Finally, the piece de resistance, if you will.  This little number was an outfit my mother defended all the way out the door, saying she had worn it to really nice events and recounting compliments she got on it more than twenty years ago.  That's just it, Mom.  More. Than. Twenty. Years. Ago.  Today, it's just ugly.  And funny.  People say there's no such thing as "too much of a good thing."  I say when that 'good thing' is neck-to-ankle floral print, there most certainly is.

Aren't parents always good for a laugh??

Thanks a Million

This November, I'm going to try to post everyday about something I'm thankful for.  My life is so filled with blessings that I know I will have no trouble finding something wonderful in my life everyday!

Tonight I am thankful for laughter.  There are few things I love more than unwinding at the end of a long workday, stretched out on the couch in my pajamas laughing at whatever hilarity I can find on television.  Tonight it was the Women of SNL special, and I pretty much laughed for two hours straight, remembering some of my favorite characters and discovering some new favorites, too.  It seems like all the dirt and grime of the long day slough off through a little bit of laughter, and some days it's all that keeps me sane, it seems.  Be it a great book, hilarious movie, favorite television character, or, of course, one of my oh-so-humorous friends, laughter really is the best medicine, and it almost always seems to cure whatever's ailing me.



Paid to Laugh

Do you ever think about your dream job?  The thing you'd do if you could do anything in this world you wanted to do?
I think about mine all the time, which probably doesn't come as a shock to many of you.  If talent, time, opportunity, and money were no barrier, I don't think I'd have any troublesettling down to a job I adore.  I have several that come to mind pretty quickly, actually.
Photographer.
Florist.
Novelist.
Host of a travel show.
Stand-up comic.
Bookshop owner.
Food critic.
Movie critic.
Book critic.
Writer for late night talk show.
Writer for SNL.
Singer on Broadway.
Costume Designer.
However, as wonderful as I think these would all be, there is one that stands out in the forefront as, in my opinion, the world's perfect job.  Here's a few hints:

Roseanne

The Wonder Years

The Office

Murphy Brown

The Mary Tyler Moore Show

All in the Family

Growing Pains

The Facts of Life

Saved by the Bell

The Cosby Show

Will & Grace

The Golden Girls

Seinfeld

Friends

Have some of my all time favorite sitcoms given it away?  So, here's the scoop.  If I could do annnnnnnnyyyything in this world, there's no doubt what I'd do:
Sitcom Actor.  I would probably even settle for sitcom writer, but actor would certainly be my first choice.
Let me explain why.
Top 10 Reasons to be a Sitcom Actor:
10.  If your sitcom is a success (and my dream one would be, of course), you would get paid loads of royalties.
9.  You meet amazing guest stars all the time.
8.  You get to bring laughter and happiness to the entire world weekly and in syndication for years to come.
7.  Even when sitcom families are disfunctional, everybody laughs and things are still funny.
6.  No matter what they are or how big, your problems are almost always totally solved in thirty minutes or less.
5.  You go to work everyday with some of the funniest people you've ever met.
4.  You work with some of the most talented writers in the world, and you get to be real life friends with them.
3.  You can watch your own gag reel and laugh all over again. As funny as gag reels are to the viewers, imagine how funny they are to the people who know how funny it was in the moment. Did that make sense?
2.  Your job would be hilarious.  Every day.  You're being paid to be funny, and the harder you laugh (and make other people laugh) the more you get paid.  Everybody wins.
1.  You get to go to weekly table reads, which look like the most amazingly fun things on the planet.
So, what's your dream job?  If there were no barriers and worlds of opportunity, what would you be doing??  I'm dying to know!

Lone Star State of Mind

Dallas was awesome.  I loved every minute of the trip, and I had the best time with some crazy fun people.  I have lots of pics (of course) which I hope will be up very soon, but for now I'll just share with you a few of my favorite things about the trip.

The Top 10 Things that Made Dallas Awesome

10.  Yogurt.  I don't remember the last time I ate so much frozen yogurt, and I know for a fact I've never had any like this.  It was seriously the freshest, most amazing thing I've ever put in my mouth.  OrangeCup and Yogalicious are divine establishments.

9.  Solving all the world's problems.  Becca and I solved the majority of them on the drive to Dallas and, with some help from Kathleen and Anna, had them all solved by the time the weekend drew to a close.  If the world would just give us fifteen minutes and a bull horn, we could have it all set straight.  Easy enough, right?

8.  Becca's numerous traffic-related anxiety attacks.  You haven't lived until you've seen Becca have a freak-out meltdown in the middle of traffic.  It's classic, really.  There were several throughout the course of this weekend, and one or two even took place while Becca wasn't even the driver.  Oh, yeah, and there was the time she made us park in the next-to-last spot of a huge lot just because "driving around the whole place just isn't worth it."  Um, speak for yourself, Bec.

7.  Living through a visit to Sam Moon and the Rock 'n' Rollercoaster ride from hell it took to get us there.  I thought on numerous occasions that I was going to see my lunch reappear, yet no one else in the car took me at all seriously.  (Probably because most of the attention was going to Becca... see #8.)  I risked my life and rolled down my window in a particularly seedy part of the ghetto just to gasp in the cool air.  And don't even get me started on Sam Moon, this mega-store jam-packed with discount purses, jewelry, etc and about a zillion people scrounging around for the most sought-after bargain.  I wanted to start pushing people down and run for the exit more than one time while I was there.

6.  Liar's Den.  This bar had it all.  A dance floor where Kathleen could cut a rug, a rooftop bar with an amazing view of the skyline where Becca and I could make new friends, and a staircase connecting the two that Anna could run up and down eight million times. 

5.  Four inches of snow on the ground and not one article of appropriate clothing.  Friday when a lady told us it was supposed to snow the next day, we walked out in the 75 degree sunshine and immediately proclaimed her insane.  The next day, however, when running through the fattest snowflakes I've ever seen dressed in the heaviest pieces of clothing we brought (mere cardigans), we thought perhaps we should have paid her a little more attention.  Saturday night I slept under four blankets (one of which was a bedspread), and Anna's dog was dressed more warmly than me.

4.  Meeting a sweet boy who reminded me that all men are not, in fact, neanderthals.  My faith in the male race has been marginally restored, at least temporarily.

3.  Problematic sleeping arrangements.  One night I slept upright like Abraham Lincoln.  Becca spent a night on the hardwood floor, waking up saying it felt like "a bed of nails on concrete."  Anna curled up in the tiniest ball ever imagined and perched on the end of the couch.  I could feel the cold air of the snow coming in through the window even underneath my scores of heavy blankets.  Kathleen, however, somehow managed to end up in the warm, comfortable bed every night... how did that happen, Kat?

2.  The most awesome concert ever.  I was beyond pumped to see the Peas, but I was just pretty pumped to see Ludacris.  Let me tell you, Luda blew it out of the park.  He was unbelievable, and his back-up dancers shaking their moneymakers would blow your mind.  The Peas were just as off-the-charts amazing as I had hoped they would be, and I never wanted the concert to end.  I've never really understood watching a concert on DVD, but I wish I had a recording of this one I could watch over and over and over again.

1.  Laughing my head off.  Whether it was the car that smelled like a frat house, the inappropriate things we seemed to constantly be saying, the recaps of the night before, or Becca's outfit on the ride home, we were constantly in stitches.  I know the people around us wished we would pipe down and chill out, but we just couldn't do it.  We were just having too much fun.  I can't wait to go back to Dallas again soon and laugh until I can't breathe all over again.
 

Laugh Out Loud

For some reason, I have had the hardest time getting my thoughts gathered for this post.  Even now, I am bumbling and backspacing every other word, unable to solidify my perspective.  Some might call this writer's block; I, however, call it the perfect summation of the past year--2009 in a nutshell, so to speak.
There were parts of 2009 that were frustrating beyond belief.  Like the parts where I was eating everything I could get my hands on with no end in sight and the parts where I was in a bad mood with no known source.  The parts where I was blowing through money like it was literally growing on a tree outside my back door weren't too pleasant, either.
There were also parts that were empowering, fulfilling, and altogether divine.  Like the times during and after my mom's surgery when I was called upon to make big decisions and, ultimately, hold our household together.  Or the times when I worked really hard on a project for school and was rewarded with a good grade or a simple approving nod from a tough teacher.  In a lot of cases, I learned what I was really made of and how tough growing up can really be.
There were, of course, lots and lots of fun times in 2009, as well.  The times when I totally cut loose during football season, for example, and acted like I was anything but twenty-four.  The times when I was reading a great book or seeing a fabulous movie.  (Check out my year's best reads and movies.)  And the vacation times and the wedding times and the nothing times with the people I love the most.
For me, 2009 really ran the gamut of feeling and emotions.  It was fun; it was difficult; it was wild; it was frustrating; it was scary; it was tiring; it was bizarre; it was wonderful; it was funny; it was trying; it was lonely; it was happy; it was rewarding; it was a test of faith; it was sad; it was real.
It was life in its purest, rawest form.
I don't know what 2010 holds--couldn't begin to speculate or make a guess.  I don't have a clue where I may go, what may happen, who I may meet, or how the year may unfold.  I don't even really know what I want to happen.  All I know is this:  I want to laugh.  Every day.
No gimmicks, no slogans, no resolutions.
Just laughter.

For, at the end of every day and every situation, if you ask me, laughter makes everything bearable.  It makes the funny funnier; it makes the tragic endurable; it makes your eyes shine brighter, and it's the best soundtrack this life could ask for.

I have some goals for the year, which I am shockingly keeping to myself for the moment, but my outlook for the coming year can be perfectly summed up in these ten words from Daughtry's newest song, Life After You.

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter.

That's it:  pure and simple.  Just laughter.

Webster's Dictionary defines laughter as "a cause of merriment."  A Yiddish proverb says that "what soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."  The great comedic actor Milton Berle said, "laughter is an instant vacation," and I can't really think of anything better than that.

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter.

Happy 2010 to you and yours, my loves.  I wish you all the best.