Good Night, and Good Luck

Today was moving day. 
Everything was packed into boxes and hauled away in the moving truck... only to be unloaded 25 miles away in my storage unit--home to my belongings for the next year.  In all honesty, I am a mix of emotions leaving my apartment behind.  I know it wasn't much, but it was the first place in this world that was wholly mine, and I am going to miss being there.  I will miss sitting on my back porch and looking at the stars; I will miss sprawling diagonally across my bed with a good book;  I will miss my pictures on the wall; I will miss lounging on the couch storytelling and drinking wine with friends; I will miss decorating for Christmas; I will miss my flowers.  I can do all of these things at my mother's house, of course, but it won't be quite the same.  I will not miss, however, sweating to death in the kitchen and/or bathroom no matter what the time of year or the temperature; I will not miss the overly sensitive smoke alarm; I will not miss a closet the size of a postage stamp. 
Today I laughed to keep from crying, and looked forward instead of glancing back in the rearview mirror.  Just when I think I have everything figured out and compartmentalized perfectly, life, inevitably, changes again.  It's funny like that, isn't it?

In the little taupe room

There was a television

And a few spots of maroon

And a picture of...

Three friends standing under a beautiful moon

And there were teddy bears and black and white chairs

And a number of candles and a pair of sandals

And a cabinet of red and a wrought-iron bed

And a book and a brush and a note from a crush

And a quiet young lady who was whispering "hush"

Goodnight room

Goodnight room

Goodnight friends standing under the moon

Goodnight light and the spots of maroon

Goodnight bears

Goodnight chairs

Goodnight candles and goodnight sandals

Goodnight clocks and goodnight socks

Goodnight cabinet of red and goodnight bed

Goodnight book and goodnight brush

Goodnight nobody

Goodnight crush

And goodnight to the young lady whispering "hush"

Goodnight stars

Goodnight air

Goodnight noises everywhere

Flash in the Dark

lightning in the night sky
illuminating things unknown
sometimes life flashes with lightning, too
and brings to light the answers that have been there all along
sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same
heard that in a song once, and it just ran through my brain
i think it's probably true
but that doesn't make things any easier to swallow
the breeze blows and the lightning flashes again
can you smell change?  or taste it?
i suppose it's going to come charging in whether i'm ready for it or not
so i should just shut my mouth and go with the flow
tomorrow a chapter will come to a virtual end
the unknown is with me always it seems
i'm not looking for answers today
though who knows what the next flash might reveal?

I Want to Believe

Lately, I have been dabbling in a little writing of poetry.  It comes upon me in the most unexpected of moments, this desire to dash off a bit of verse, but I've decided to give in to it and see where it takes me.  I hope you'll occasionally indulge me sharing a piece with you.

movies, books, the perfect song--real life inspiration
so they say
not sure if i believe
anymore
am i too old for fairy tales?
my head says yes
but my heart wishes on a star
and hopes the answer's no
reality bites, anyway

unrequited, unreturned, one-sided, "we're better off as friends"--

you can't force something that's not there

no matter whose responsible, it feels the same

standing alone during a slow song at a sixth grade dance

not really bitter, not even sad

resigned. accepting.

perhaps that is worse

am i accepting defeat?  raising the white flag?

not yet

hopeless romantics never give up

it's against our very nature

a fatal flaw?  perhaps.

nightly prayers suffice for now

books, movies, and wedding invitations keep the dream alive

the missing piece is around somewhere

it's just been misplaced

i could find it--hope i will find it--

any day now

The Criminal Code

Ode to Criminal Minds:

Hotch, you never crack a smile,

But I'd still want you on my case.

You love your precious son, Jack,

And your wife, too (who played Andie McPhee on Dawson's Creek).

Sometimes you're really hard on your team,

But it's just because you care so much about your job.

The Reaper actually brought you to tears,

But that was before he tried to kill you and dumped you at the ER.

Gideon, how do you know it all?

No matter what the case, you always have the answers

Except, that is, when you let six agents get blown up,

And then ran off--never to be heard from again...

Elle and Prentiss, you're the ones I don't really feel like I know.
Prentiss, you look like a young Angelica Huston, but that's really all I've got.
Rossi, you're the one I like the least,
For sometimes you just have a 'tude.
You went on a book tour, good for you.
I would be fine if you went back into retirement.

JJ and Garcia, I love y'all.

Garcia, I always wonder just what is on your head (and what you're wearing),

And I think your computer-hacking skills are unbelievable.

JJ, I adore that you made Reid Henry's godfather,

And I think you're so pretty.

Morgan, I think you're great.

You're so easy on the eyes,

And you have the prettiest white teeth.

I love how you're like a big brother to Reid,

And you're so protective over Garcia.

(I loathe pet names, but I don't mind your banter with Garcia.)

Dr. Spencer Reid, my love.

PhD cubed--tallest, skinniest, most awkward boy ever.

Geeky clothes and a constant spouting of statistics.

I love your innocence and your naivete,

Your mad chess skills and your wild unkempt hair.

I love that your mother is Jane Lynch,

And I love that Morgan is trying to teach you to be a ladies' man.

Criminal Minds, what did I do before I knew you?

The un-subs, the victimology, the profiles, the guest stars,

The tiny, tiny personal insights,

And the way the team is like a family.

I love your black SUVs and your bullet-proof vests,

Your quotes and your time spent on the jet,

And the storylines that are sometimes almost too real.

I'm so glad you've come into my life.

Here Am I

Warning: What follows is the first post of what will probably be an increasing trend. In the last 10 days, I have become obsessed with my field of study, and I have started applying things I'm learning about to everything I see. Yes, I'm aware that it is beyond nerdy.
In my School Counseling Services class tonight, we had to write what is known as an "I Am" poem. We were given a template of thoughts to complete, and we were able to learn a great deal about ourselves and each other just from reading this short poem. I thought it was the coolest thing, so I thought I would share mine with you.



I am a bookworm who can't wait to fall in love
I wonder how the Postal Service gets the mail sorted so quickly
I hear the soundtrack of my life as I walk down the sidewalk
I see photographs of myself in exotic locations
I want to experience a "movie moment"
I am a bookworm who can't wait to fall in love

I pretend that I am starring in a Broadway musical
I feel ecstatic when I am in the presence of my best friends
I touch freedom when the wind blows my hair
I worry that I will never find what I'm looking for
I cry at weddings because I miss my dad
I am a bookworm who can't wait to fall in love

I understand answers to prayer don't always materialize immediately
I say that God won't give me anything I can't handle
I dream of the future
I try not to be so hard on myself
I hope the people I love know how much they mean to me
I am a bookworm who can't wait to fall in love