Welcome to the Jungle

On Tuesday, I went to Wal-Mart. As some of you may know, Wal-Mart is a place that I loathe; the very sight of it escalates my blood pressure, and going inside puts me on edge within seconds. For that reason, I don't go very often, so, when I do, my list (er... scroll) is so long that I am there for hours, thus heightening my hatred for the place.
It's a vicous circle.
So, like I said I went Tuesday. I am well aware that it is now Friday, but it has taken me this long to digest and come to terms with the horrors that I saw and heard. If you're a frequenter (is that a word?) of Wal-Mart, you know that the irritation of the whole experience often starts before you even make it into the store. It is always a nightmare to find a parking space, and I almost always end up parking in outer Mongolia because the neverending circles are making me dizzy. It also seems that, every time I visit our Wal-Mart, the parking lot is where I see every destitute and down-on-his-luck individual in the tri-county area. I try to make my way into the store as quickly as possible, for the parking lot of Wal-Mart is a rather depressing place.
After making it inside, I had to stop off at the pharmacy, which is a miniature jungle inside the monstrosity. Obviously, due to the nature of the beast, many of the people in the pharmacy are at their very worst. They're sick; they're tired; they're taking care of a sick child or parent; they're unshowered; they're wearing their pajamas; they've been waiting far longer than the initial promise time; they're miserable. There are always kids screaming at the tops of their lungs, parents glaring at anything and everything that crosses their paths, and, of course, the oh-so-unhelpful people behind the counter. (It has always been my belief that they put the most unhelpful "associates" behind the counter in the pharmacy. Why is this?)
And then you have me - just picking up a routine, everyday, run-of-the-mill prescription. The people waiting hate me because I don't look sick, and the people working there ignore me because I'm not sneezing in their faces. On Tuesday, however, there was also a woman who spoke no English and a child who looked like he might throw up on my feet at any minute. Add all this together, and you might be able to imagine what it was like.
So, after thankfully exiting the pharmacy area, I proceeded to do the rest of my shopping, which included numerous items on both the "Wal-Mart" side as well as the grocery side. As I made my way around the store, I kept encountering these armies of unattended children. Seriously, there were gangs of them without a parent in sight. These were young children, and they always seemed to be blocking the aisles or throwing things from shelves or chasing each other around corners. Where were their parents? Probably saw their out and made their escape, along with my sanity.
The rest of the trip went on about like this, with the whole thing culminating at the check out, which is always an adventure. Of course, as per usual, I got in the line that required a price check or something in front of me, but it was too late to turn back, for I had already unloaded all the contents of my buggy. How typical.
Thinking I was in the home stretch, I practically sprinted toward my car. I did not get far, however, before I was accosted by the lady with the yellow hiliter sitting by the door. After finally breaking away from her, my car in sight, I began to pick up speed. Apparently, I got a little (a lot) overzealous, for two of my bags fell off the top of the heap, scattering their contents all over the asphalt. The perfect summation to a perfectly hellacious trip.
Actually, I'm getting steamed up just thinking back over it.
Those of you who are able to frequent Target or any other such establishment should count your lucky stars, for I would not wish the abysmal plight of shopping at Wal-Mart on my worst enemy.
Oh, and PS: I decided to go with watch #2 (see post below), and it should be here in 4-8 business days! Happy school year and happy 4.0 to me! (Sorry for the shameless plug... I just couldn't help it!)

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Yesterday I was chewed out by an elderly man in the Wal-Mart parking lot.
Most of you know of my hatred for Wal-Mart, so when my mom told me she needed me to "run up" there for her, I was certainly not looking forward to the trip. I knew I would have to park across the highway and there would one million people inside, knocking each other down for the last Wii or some such holiday item.
Therefore, when I got there and headed up the aisle to search for the ever-evasive parking spot, I was elated to see a woman packing her groceries into the third parking spot from the front. The third spot! I pulled over as far as I could, put on my blinker, and settled in to wait for my spot.
As I watched this woman load her purchases into her car, I wondered if she could possibly do it any slower. Apparently everything had a certain spot into which it must be loaded, for she had some things she placed in the trunk of her car and others that went inside. While I was waiting for her to complete the slowest loading process of all time, a few cars went around me and, admittedly, there were a couple of cars in line behind me.
All of a sudden this man was standing beside my car, motioning for me to roll down the window. I guess thought perhaps I knew him or he was hoping to spread a little Christmas cheer, so I rolled down the window. Christmas cheer was not what he was spreading, however. He proceeded to tel me (in not the kindest of language) how I was blocking traffic and that if I wanted this parking spot I needed to go around the lot again and come back and get it.
Yeah, right; I'm sure it would just be sitting there waiting for me, sir.
I told him I was sorry, and he responded with, "Ain't no sorry."
I'm not sure exactly what that meant, but I knew one thing for sure: i wasn't giving up that parking spot, not for him or anyone else.
Therefore, I summoned up all my gumption and said, "Sir, it is December the twenty-third, and this is Wal-Mart. What exactly did you expect?" I then proceeded to roll my window up in his face.
My mom said I was lucky he didn't hit me or worse.
I thought that's about how all of yesterday was going to go, but it got markedly better when I went to a Christmas party full of old friends last night. Mary Katherine and Florence combined their class Christmas parties into one party this year, and it was so much fun. Caught up with some friends I don't get to hang out with that often, hung out with some of my favorite people, and enjoyed a true dose of Christmas cheer.
As we speak, I'm supposed to be packing to leave for my family's Christmas extravaganza, but I'm obviously prioritizing. First things first, you know. I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, and Santa brings you everything you're hoping for!

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

The Day I Turned Uncool: Confessions of a Reluctant Grown-Up

I have a college degree. I live on my own. I pay my own bills, and I file my own income taxes. I own my own car. I have a job. For all practical purposes, I'm a grown up.
For some reason, though, I've never felt like one.
Until today.
I've been battling being sick for about six weeks now, and I decided today it was time to go back to the doctor and finally get this mess cleared up. So, after my violin lesson, I made my way to the same doctor I saw just about three weeks ago.
I checked myself in and read a book while I waited to be called. When I finally got called to the back, I told the nurse all of my complaints, the medicine I took a few weeks ago, and the medicines I'm allergic to. I had blood work done as well as a chest x-ray. I talked with the doctor about possible medicines to get this cleared up, and told her to just go ahead and give me a shot. I received my prescriptions, payed my bill in full and headed to the pharmacy, where I picked up my prescriptions and, again, payed my bill.
I know none of that is really that big of a deal, but for some reason, as I walked out of the pharmacy, the only word that came to my mind was independent. As in, I am capable of and am taking care of myself. It was an empowering thought, but a rather scary and sobering one, too.
I'm not sure if I'm ready for so much responsibility...
In other news, when I went to Wal-Mart to pick up my prescriptions today, I was even more irritated by the place than usual. I've written about my intense hatred for Wal-Mart before, but today was even worse than usual. There were all these kids there with their parents, and, becuase it's 3 weeks until Christmas, they were all hyper and running around like little Energizer bunnies. I must have heard at least six parents attempt to make their children behave with the warning of "You better get back in this buggy/stop running around/put that down... Santa's watching you."
Really? Santa's watching you??
What about the other 11 months out of the year when that skewed method of disciplining a child holds no validity whatsoever?? Santa doesn't really hold much influence in the blazing heat of July...
All in all, between my adventures at the doctor's office and my apparently archaic views on parenting, I headed back to Starkville going approximately 55 miles per hour and keeping my blinker on the whole way, like all the other geezers...

A Nose in the Book

I finished the most amazing book last night.
Many of you know that I am an avid reader and will devour just about anything that even remotely piques my interest. Lately, however, I have had absolutely zero time for reading outside of class reading. I have been reading The Sound and the Fury since early August, and I'm still only about halfway through it!

Anyway, I was at Wal-Mart Wednesday afternoon (I had delayed the trip as long as I possibly could, but I couldn't put it off any longer...) and was perusing through the book/magazine section, which is always the last thing I do anytime I go to Wal-Mart. I can almost always find something that looks interesting or something I've heard about, and it's almost like my consolation prize for making it through the trip.

"Congratulations, Lauren Springer. You've made it to the finish line without being run over, getting into a fight with an unhelpful sales associate, or simply giving up and going home. Although there's probably several items on your list you were unable to locate in our metal-roofed megastore, we'd like you to go home happy. Please consider this morsel of current fiction our way of saying 'thanks.'"

That being said, I was browsing through the paperbacks and came across Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. Of course I've seen the preview for this movie, which comes out in about two weeks; it is played on TV about every 8.6 minutes, how could I have missed it? I did not, however, realize it was a book...

Consider me interested.

I read the short description and, being a firm believer that the book is always better than the movie, I was hooked. It sounded funny; it looked like a quick-read; it was just the sort of mindless unreality that my how-many-articles-can-a-person-read-about-existential-therapy mind was craving.

Sold.

I brought it home, and, a little more than 24 hours later, I'm finished. I could not have loved it more. Laugh-out-loud funny, sweet, and totally unrealistic---everything I needed it to be. If you're looking for a fun read, I highly recommend it. I won't go into the details of the story, for I know some of you will at least go see the movie, but just know that I highly recommend it. This book is such a great find, and if the movie is half as good, we're all in for a treat.

"Norah looks like the only use she has for the word fun is to make the word funeral."

Seriously, it's hilarious. It's racy, mind you, but it's hilarious.

But, as that guy on Reading Rainbow used to say, you don't have to take my word for it.