Bye Bye Love

Dear Paul McDonald,

Although you were voted off Let's See How Many Ways We Can Shamelessly Promote James Durbin American Idol tonight, you're still my main squeeze.  I love your pearly whites and your skinny-as-a-toothpick legs and your wild hair.  I love your strange floral suits, your Rod Stewart rasp, and, oh yeah, your thousand gigawatt smile.  I also don't mind that you're a true southerner, a true musician, and did I mention you have a great smile?
I can't imagine why you've been given the boot before Even-Though-I'll-Sing-A-New-Song-Next-Week-You-Won't-Be-Able-To-Differentiate-It-From-My-Previous-Performances Stefano or I'm-Not-Half-As-Cool-As-Janis-Joplin Haley. However, seeing as I imagine you to be this guy who was just walking down the street one day and said, "Hey, I think I'll audition for American Idol today," I feel like you'll bounce back from this just fine.  Let's be honest, you're a pretty cool guy; I doubt you'll have any trouble drawing an audience (which will, of course, include me).  
Even though I've never actually voted for American Idol (or any other reality show, for that matter... I can actively turn my brain to mush by watching them all day long, but, for some reason, I just can't bring myself to cast a vote.  It's a line I just can't cross.), and I've never actually watched a full season before, you're my Idol, for sure.

Loving you like Randy Jackson loves a cardigan,

P.S. What kind of toothpaste do you use?  Does it have some sort of special whitening aspect, or do you simply practice excellent dental hygiene?