Big Deal

Jon and Kate + 8.

I don't get it.

Can someone please clue me in as to what the big deal is about this family??
Admittedly, I've never watched the show. It never piqued my interest; so, all I know about the show and the Gosselins is what has shown up in the media, which has skyrocketed lately.

Apparently there's some sort of trouble in paradise?

A family signs up for a reality television show and agrees to have film crews following them twenty-four/seven, three-sixty-five. Tension and (seemingly) disaster ensues. What about this is surprising? More than that, why is this newsworthy?

All I know is this: I can't turn on FoxNews, Entertainment Tonight, the Today show, or Late Night with Conan O'Brien (or anything else in between) without hearing something about Jon and Kate + 8. Seriously, some member of the Gosselin family has graced the cover of the last 4 People magazines. I see it all around me. I hear people talking about it all the time. All I don't understand is why.

Like I said, I don't get it.

I know there are at least a few of you out there who live for the latest on the Gosselins (Becca, Meg... ahem... Nick), so feel free to enlighten me. Until then, I'll sit tight for the newest piece of inappropriately private information released to the general public through the mainstream media. One of the kids picked his or her nose; Kate put new highlights in her hair; the family settled their differences with a Three Muskateers-style duel.

The sky truly is the limit, it seems.

This is My Confession

Here lies a truth of which I am wholly ashamed.
There have been times in my life I thought I had all the friends I needed. In fact, I know I have said this out loud. It probably went something like, "I'm not really in the market for new friends" or "Nah... I've got all the friends I need at the moment." I was probably laughing when I said it, but I know myself well enough to say that there was probably truth behind that laughter.
However, I'm not laughing now. I'm actually looking back in shame.
I came to this realization through a conversation my mom and I were having yesterday. We were talking about all of the phenomenal people we have come in contact with throughout the ongoing process of her surgery and therapy, and I was blindsided by the recognition that took place in my mind. Without the encouragement, openness, understanding, tolerance, patience, and positive energy of the people we have come into contact with, this experience would have been unbearable, and discouragement would have rained down upon us.
We have met cheerleaders and encouragers at every turn, however, and I credit much of the success of the past five weeks to them.
These people were merely doing their jobs, you might say. However, if any of you have had even the most minimal of experiences with the health care industry, you know that a nurturing bedside manner is not a prerequisite for entering the field. Just like most other arenas, sour attitudes, unhelpfulness, bitterness, and resenment abound. Instead of being the norm, however, these troublesome individuals ended up being the anomalies, the exceptions to the most pleasant of rules.
We have been blessed with some of the most skilled doctors, caring nurses, knowledgeable and capable therapists, and, of course, steadfast friends and family. The majority of people we come have come into contact with over the past five weeks are people we have never seen before, and they don't know us from Adam's house cat. That hasn't changed the fact, however, that they have given us their best and their all; they have dared to care in a world where all too often caring falls by the wasteside in exchange for an extra dollar or an immediate gain.
Now, back to my original confession. Where do I get off saying that I am not in the market for new friends? Just who, exactly, do I think I am? I have met tens if not hundreds of new people in the past weeks, and the kindness and helpfulness of each of them has impacted my life in a positive way. It is an honor and a privilege to now call them my friends. My mom was simply a name on a chart and I her emergency contact person. We are no one special and deserve no special treatment. The individuals we have come into contact with, however, have treated us as if we were their only patients, as if they had all the time in the world to answer our multitudes of questions, as if they were there to help no one but us--even though each minute they spent with us was one more minute away from someone else. I consider myself blessed to have been in their presence, and I will take a piece of each of them away from this experience with me. I will always remember them fondly, and I will forever look to them for inspiration.
I know I will glean many more lessons from this experience, but I have already learned a big one. There are new friends to be had at every turn and friendliness truly can change the world, one person at a time. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, ages, and walks of life; not being open to these new relationships only proves detriemental for me. I am the one missing out. My thinking has now been forever changed, and I am ready and waiting for any new friends who will have me.
It looks as though Blanche DuBois really did have it right when she said in A Streetcar Named Desire, "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." I should have known better than to go against the likes of Tennessee Williams.
Or Vivien Leigh, for that matter.

Before and After

Often when big events happen in life, I find myself looking at things in a before and after mentality. Looking back into my memory, things get categorized into one part of the dichotomy or the other. Before graduation and after graduation; before dad died and after dad died; before I went to college and after I went to college; before I went to grad school and after I went to grad school. Do you know what I mean? Well, I have added a new one of late: before mom's surgery and after mom's surgery.
Three weeks ago today, mom went to the hospital for a knee replacement. If you had asked me before the surgery, I don't really know that I could have told you what I expected "after the surgery" to be like. I don't think I had any idea, for "after the surgery" was such an abstract concept.
I am, however, relatively certain that I could have named a number of things that I didn't expect. I didn't expect to spend a stint in the ICU. I didn't expect to be so scared I thought I would be physically sick. I didn't expect to see God's presence in the faces of the hospital nurses. I didn't expect to take on these mountains of responsibility and still be able to keep a smile on my face (most of the time). I didn't expect to watch over my mother in the night while she's sleeping, as if our roles had been reversed. I didn't expect to have the physical and mental strength to play a major part in my mother's physical therapy. I didn't expect to be able to withstand pushing her to tears almost everyday. I didn't expect to spend a chunk of my day having a devotion with my mom and reading novels out loud to her; I didn't expect to cherish that time so much. I didn't expect to lean so heavily on my friends and family. I didn't expect to be so overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support that has met me at every turn. I didn't know what to expect, but I certainly didn't expect this.
I am unbelievably proud of my mother and the improvement she is making everyday. I know she is in worlds of pain, and she is not afraid to make that known. She cries when it gets to be too much, but she never gives up. These weeks have not been easy on either of us, but she is the one who is being forced to endure the physical pain of it all, and I'm so proud of all that she is doing. My mom is unbelievably strong, and she impresses me every single day. I ask you to continue praying for her physical and emotional strength through this process, for she still has a long road of recovery ahead of her.
Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and prayers throughout these weeks. I've felt each one of them, and I could never convey how much they have meant. Your love and support keep us going.

Silent Prayer

Dear friends (for I do consider you all friends, even those who remain cloaked in the veil of anonymity),
Today's post is a serious one. Tomorrow morning my mom will enter the hospital, and at one o'clock she will enter the operating room for a knee replacement. I know this is a routine surgery that is done thousands of times every day across the country, but nothing is routine when it is personal.
My mom has withstood arthritis for the last sixteen years, and she has gone as long as she can go on these knees; it's time for a trade-in, an upgrade, a newer model, if you will. It has come to the point that every step is a struggle, and you can see the pain she is constantly feeling written all over her face. At 56, she is a relatively young candidate for a knee replacement, but she has simply endured as much as she can.
I ask you for your prayers and thoughts throughout this process. I ask, of course, for prayer throughout the actual surgery tomorrow, but the road of recovery will be a long one, as well, and I know there will bumps in that road. I ask you to pray for my mom's strength, determination, and dedication to fulfilling the goals necessary for recovery. I also ask that you will pray for her to have calm throughout these final hours before the surgery; my mother is a lady of strong faith, and I know her faith and trust in the Lord will take her a far way.
I also ask that, while you're at it, you say a little prayer for my courage and patience throughout this process. Because my mom and I have been a two-man team for the past fourteen years, a lot of the responsibility that comes along with preparations, care, and arrangements for the surgery has fallen on my shoulders. I will be the first to admit that sometimes that responsibility frightens me, but I know my faith in God will help me to overcome the obstacles I fear. In addition, I know there will be days throughout her recovery that will try my patience, and I ask that you pray for God to give me understanding and resilience so that I can be an encouragement to her.
Finally, I ask you to pray for the team of doctors, nurses, and therapists that will take her through surgery and recovery. I pray God will use these people as his hands on earth to heal what is broken and hurting in my mom. I pray that even though they go through this procedure everyday, she will remain an individual to them, a person and not just a chart. She has full faith in all of these people, and I know she will receive excellent treatment.
As I said above, it has been just my mom and I for more than a decade now, so, although she is having the surgery, we are really going into this together. She and I have an indescribable bond, and, although, like all mothers, she knows just how to push my buttons, I cannot imagine what my life would be like without her. I ask you to offer up a prayer anytime you think of us throughout these next days, weeks, and months as she recovers. Any prayers would be valued and cherished, even if you don't know my mom, even if, in fact, you don't know me.
I thank you in advance for your love and support throughout this process. Your support for me in turn supports her, so I thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I thank you just for listening.
All my love,
Spring

Accentuate the Positive

I could be persuaded to do just about anything by a man with an accent.
Okay, not anything, but accents are way up there on the "things my dream man would have" list.
Yesterday my pastor came to visit my mom and I to talk with us before her knee replacement on Monday (major post about that coming tomorrow). He is Scottish and has the most amazing brogue you have ever heard. Ordinary words sounded so much more eloquent and distinguished, and I could have listened to him talk for-ev-er.
His visit also brought this idea to my attention: Europeans seem to have incredibly elevated vocabularies. He used words that are almost never spoken in American diction, and they came so naturally to him you knew he wasn't showing off. He just spoke like that. Being the English major and lover of words that I am, I ate it up and continued to think about it long after his visit ended (obviously).

Welcome to the Jungle

On Tuesday, I went to Wal-Mart. As some of you may know, Wal-Mart is a place that I loathe; the very sight of it escalates my blood pressure, and going inside puts me on edge within seconds. For that reason, I don't go very often, so, when I do, my list (er... scroll) is so long that I am there for hours, thus heightening my hatred for the place.
It's a vicous circle.
So, like I said I went Tuesday. I am well aware that it is now Friday, but it has taken me this long to digest and come to terms with the horrors that I saw and heard. If you're a frequenter (is that a word?) of Wal-Mart, you know that the irritation of the whole experience often starts before you even make it into the store. It is always a nightmare to find a parking space, and I almost always end up parking in outer Mongolia because the neverending circles are making me dizzy. It also seems that, every time I visit our Wal-Mart, the parking lot is where I see every destitute and down-on-his-luck individual in the tri-county area. I try to make my way into the store as quickly as possible, for the parking lot of Wal-Mart is a rather depressing place.
After making it inside, I had to stop off at the pharmacy, which is a miniature jungle inside the monstrosity. Obviously, due to the nature of the beast, many of the people in the pharmacy are at their very worst. They're sick; they're tired; they're taking care of a sick child or parent; they're unshowered; they're wearing their pajamas; they've been waiting far longer than the initial promise time; they're miserable. There are always kids screaming at the tops of their lungs, parents glaring at anything and everything that crosses their paths, and, of course, the oh-so-unhelpful people behind the counter. (It has always been my belief that they put the most unhelpful "associates" behind the counter in the pharmacy. Why is this?)
And then you have me - just picking up a routine, everyday, run-of-the-mill prescription. The people waiting hate me because I don't look sick, and the people working there ignore me because I'm not sneezing in their faces. On Tuesday, however, there was also a woman who spoke no English and a child who looked like he might throw up on my feet at any minute. Add all this together, and you might be able to imagine what it was like.
So, after thankfully exiting the pharmacy area, I proceeded to do the rest of my shopping, which included numerous items on both the "Wal-Mart" side as well as the grocery side. As I made my way around the store, I kept encountering these armies of unattended children. Seriously, there were gangs of them without a parent in sight. These were young children, and they always seemed to be blocking the aisles or throwing things from shelves or chasing each other around corners. Where were their parents? Probably saw their out and made their escape, along with my sanity.
The rest of the trip went on about like this, with the whole thing culminating at the check out, which is always an adventure. Of course, as per usual, I got in the line that required a price check or something in front of me, but it was too late to turn back, for I had already unloaded all the contents of my buggy. How typical.
Thinking I was in the home stretch, I practically sprinted toward my car. I did not get far, however, before I was accosted by the lady with the yellow hiliter sitting by the door. After finally breaking away from her, my car in sight, I began to pick up speed. Apparently, I got a little (a lot) overzealous, for two of my bags fell off the top of the heap, scattering their contents all over the asphalt. The perfect summation to a perfectly hellacious trip.
Actually, I'm getting steamed up just thinking back over it.
Those of you who are able to frequent Target or any other such establishment should count your lucky stars, for I would not wish the abysmal plight of shopping at Wal-Mart on my worst enemy.
Oh, and PS: I decided to go with watch #2 (see post below), and it should be here in 4-8 business days! Happy school year and happy 4.0 to me! (Sorry for the shameless plug... I just couldn't help it!)