Operation Happy New Year

As I sit on the cusp of 2009, I am looking back and fondly remembering the highlights (and, let's be honest, the lowlights) of 2008. This was a year filled with personal highs and goals reached, but 2008 also saw a few uncertain and disappointing times for me.

Throughout the past year, I had to face the uncertainty of my future and the changing scenery of my life. I dealt with unexpected loneliness and and a sadness with an origin I could not quite pinpoint, therefore I was unsure how to confront and deal with it. I had to look honestly into the face of my own insecurities and step far outside of my comfort zone. I had to swallow my pride and ask for help. There were many uncomfortable moments and a few nights I just couldn't hold it all together. I filled the pages of my journal, tossed and turned through sleepless nights, and ranted and raved to anyone who would listen. (Let me take this opportunity to apologize to those of you who suffered one of my rants; thank you for your patience.)

However, as for every bad there is always good, I had so many victories during the past year, as well. Getting into grad school and finishing my first semester so successfully was a feat I will remain proud of forever. I discovered a school of study and a career that I genuinely love and have a deep passion for. I conquered my own fears and overcame the loneliness I thought at first would suffocate me. I celebrated achievements and blessings in the lives of my friends (e.g. engagements, weddings, entrances into professional schools, graduations, etc.), and, for the first time in my life, I recognized and understood the true beauty and value of the people who matter in my life. I looked around at my life and realized just how blessed I really am.

I am not one for resolutions, as, more often than not, it seems that making a resolution almost always creates a "dare to fail' scenario. Like a ticking time bomb, it's only a matter of time until you just can't do it (whatever it may be) anymore, and the resolution is broken. Therefore, this year I am simply making an attempt to alter one thing: my attitude. I am not going to make some giant proclamation of positivity, vowing to never utter another negative statement ever again; I'm shooting for the realistic here. (If you know me at all, you that cynicism, sarcasm, and, I'm sad to say, negativity come second nature to me.) I'm simply trying to be more conscious of it.

Maybe I'll call it "Positively 2009" or something equally corny...

The premise of the whole idea is that, in my opinion, a positive attitude affects everything else positively. Perhaps not looking at everything through such cynical eyes or not responding to every situation with a judgmental, biting observation will influence other aspects of my life? I know it may not be quite that simple, but I believe it's worth a shot.

So, faithful readers, you heard it here first. I'm signing on the dotted line, raising my right hand, pinky-promising, and repeating after, well, myself that I'm going to...

try this out.

What's the worst that can happen?

On second thought, what's the best?