Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Welcome to My Nightmare

I had the most bizarro/morbid/macabre dream nightmare last night.  Well, it was actually early, early this morning, but that's really beside the point.  It is so vivid in my mind, yet so completely surreal.
It was really a twisted version of my worst nightmare, but there were elements of truth and good things in it, too.  I don't know how to say it; it was just weird.  Unsettling, really.
So, enough blabbering already.  I'll tell you all about it.
It took place in the present day, but pretty much everyone I had ever met was in it.  (I didn't literally see everyone I had ever met, but there were people I saw from every phase of my life, so, potentially, everyone I've ever met could have been there.)  Anyway, my mom had apparently died when I was young, and I had been raised by my father for most of my life.  From what I could gather, my dream nightmare life had apparently gone very similarly to my actual life, except that the parental roles were reversed.  In the dream freaky hallucination, however, my dad had just died, and my family was in turmoil.
So, let's recap:  mom dies when young; dad dies when twentysomething; life turned upside down.  Not so freaky, right?  Wrong.
So, as the story continues, all these dirty little secrets start to come out about my dad.  He's been gambling away every cent we had for years; everything we "own" is actually borrowed or on loan; he's in debt up to his eyeballs.  But, now that he's gone, his debts fall to me--the struggling student with her own pile of mounting debt.  
Crap.  Awesome.
So, because I can't pay that jerk's my dear old dad's mountain of bills, the government seizes everything from my house. Everything.  Every article of clothing, every dish, every memory of my mom, every piece of jewelry, every piece of furniture.  Everything.  Men in black suits came in and took my whole life away with them in a few haphazardly loaded trucks.
After this there's sort of a gap in the scenes, and it picks back up at this giant, hospital/gymnasium-like structure.  This is where all these people I know start to come into the story.  Everyone is milling around and whispering behind their hands, cutting glances at me like I'm too stupid to realize what they're doing.  I ran inside and finally saw what everyone was talking about.
All of my belongings, everything they'd taken from my house, was strewn about displayed in this giant room.  Floor to ceiling, row after row of my stuff.  Apparently the government was holding some sort of giant yardsale, and everything I'd ever owned was up for grabs (not to mention every object related to "family" I'd ever known).  People were openly laughing at me and our things; they were pointing and mercilessly mocking us me.
It was like my own personal version of Vertigo, and I wasn't sure where to turn or what to do.  I couldn't breathe.  This is one of the oddest parts, though (as if the whole thing isn't bizarre enough).  The only people who were being even remotely nice to me were my friends Carl and Adam.  Literally.  Everyone else I knew was being absolutely wretched. (I guess I should take this rather awkward opportunity to say 'Happy Birthday' to Carl.... er, Happy Birthday, Carl.)  Carl and Adam are great guys, so that part's not that odd, but they're just not really in my everyday life, so where did my brain pull them from?  What manifestation of insanity was this entire dream episode?  They say that nightmares reflect stresses experienced during the day, so what stressors brought out that acid trip unpleasant image?  And why were Adam and Carl the only two to show me any humanity?  Traitors Friends, do you have something to tell me?! 
Anyway, after the giant yardsale scene and the pondering of these big unfounded questions, I came out of my slumber, only to realize that I was supposed to leave for work in ten, count 'em... onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten... ten minutes.
Crap.  Awesome.
So, this is now my day went.  I thought about this disturbing, eerily-real-but-obviously-not dream mindgame all day while refusing to look at myself in a mirror, for my day-old ponytail and yardwork-worthy ensemble were almost too much to bear.  
Not the best swell day.
Pretty trippy, huh?          

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